Emma

Today was my appointment with Dr. Sarriera to discuss my Myeloma labs.  Today We were hoping to hear good news as we reviewed the lab results and Bill and I felt they were good.  But we saw one that we weren’t to happy about but still hope for good news.  First Abby came in to discuss my results.  She talked about my CT scan scheduled for tomorrow looking for a possible hernia and my appointment with the surgeon on Monday.  Then she said - not too happy with your labs.  I knew she was talking about my Lamba free light chains (plasma cell disorder).   It went from 1.53 (12/26/18) to 11.0 (3/26/19).  She did say that sometimes the tests could be wrong.  This would be due to the draw sitting around too long, calibrations not set right, draw not shaken enough.  Has happened.  All other labs were good.  M Spike still good at 0.1.  Abby then went to discuss with Dr. Sarriera.  He came in but didn’t have his usual good news smile on his face. He, too, discussed my CT scan for tomorrow for the possible hernia.  He doesn’t think it’s a hernia.  And he doesn’t think it’s Myeloma related since I have had this lower abdominal pain for forever.  So we will see.  Then discussed my increase in the Lambda light chains.  He didn’t mention what Abby said about the lab tests being fluckey at times.  He started off saying he wants me to have a full body Pet Scan (last one was January 30), a MRI of the whole spine, bone marrow biopsy and repeat of the Myeloma labs.  Then an appointment with him in 3 weeks, April 26th.   All tests to be completed by then.  Need to see if the Myeloma is progressing.  We will keep my treatments the same until all tests done.  If it is progressing, will talk then of what changes will be done with the treatments.  Dr. Sarriera is on top of things and I trust him and his team with my Multiple Myeloma health care.  He also mentioned, again if it is progressing, that I may want to contact Dr. Ochoa (transplant doctor at Moffitt) and get into the Car-T trial.   Not something I want to do unless it’s the last step.  I mentioned that my M Spike was good and he said it’s always been good.  Which it has.  He and Abby left the room with us following behind.  We waited for check out to call us for appointment settings.  Then left the Cancer Center.  It was all I could do to keep the tears from flowing. This merry go round we are on as Bill called it today.  A merry go round without brass rings to catch.  A merry go round.

I will get through this set back like I have in all the set backs in the past.  But dammit it hurts to once again go through all these tests to see what’s happening.  We all know there is always Myeloma lurking but I wish it stay away. Give Bill and I some happy days for more than 3 months.  Seems like that’s the time frame.  Yes, I am angry.  Yes, I am hurting.  Yes, I am crying right now.   Yes, I am angry.  Just have to let me be angry, let me be hurting, let me cry.  This ugly disease makes us that way.  I hope and pray that in three weeks I will be blogging all tests are good.  Then I won’t be angry, won’t be hurting, won’t be crying.  Until then, I ask again for your prayers and support that you all give freely.  And we greatly appreciate it.  Some of you have stuck with me since the insight of my diagnosis.  It’s will be 3 years in July that I was first diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma.  3 years and I am still fighting and will continue to fight.  Right now, tonight, I feel like I got punched in the stomach.  Need a day or so to jump up and feel like fighting back.

So thankful for Michelle and Gery.  They were once again ready to make us smile a bit tonight once I shared the news with them.  Always there when we need them.  Not sure how I would do without Michelle.  And I am sure Bill feels the same about Gery.  Oh, we can’t forget Tucker.  He’s always happy to see us on good days and bad days.  Just bring him some treats.  😋

Today I got a text from Kristi that started out this way - just got pulled over by a Winter Park cop (I am thinking was she speeding, go through a red light or stop sign?) while walking the dogs (I read that part then).   She wanted to know what kind of dog Emma was.  Really. 😂 Emma is a beautiful dog.

Quote:

Some days there won’t be a song in my heart.  But every day I challenge this cancer and survive is victory for me.