Look at your hair.

Yesterday was my last day of treatment for this cycle.  Won't start again until May 15th.  I love these breaks.  Just get feeling like myself and back at it.  Anyway, yesterday I had a little problem during my infusion.  Labs came back really quick and my Kyprolis was mixed and sent to my oncology nurse (Christina).  She started the Kyprolis and I decided to just lay my head back and close my eyes while it dripped.  About 3 minutes in to the drip, I felt really hot.  I opened my eyes and lifted my head. I told Bill I felt like I was going to get sick.  Christina heard me and asked if I was okay?  Told her the same.  She came over and stopped the dripped.  Said I was really flushed looking.  She got the PA that works on the floor and in came 3 other nurses.  All standing there watching me.  The PA asked if I wanted something for the nausea. Zofran.  Bill and I were familiar with this.  Took a lot of this after my stem cell transplant.  Got that injected in my port.  One of the nurses got me a ginger ale.  Once that was injected, the PA and 2 of the nurses left.  So then I just had two nurses watching me.  Christina said they were waiting 15 minutes until the Zofran settled my stomach to start up the Kyprolis again.  15 minutes passed and she started it again.  Watching me closely.  I was okay.  No reactions.  Finally the other nurse left.  Once the Kyprolis finished, she flushed the port with Saline and then flushed with Hepfran.  Then told me she wasn't going to let me leave for another 15 minutes to make sure I was okay.  I asked what could have made this happened.  Christina explained you can develop a reaction to any drug at any time.  Finally I was dismissed.  Felt okay.

Once I got home, I felt very down and had a good cry for a bit.  Hate the crying but there are times I just need to let it out.  There are times that I am so tired of treatments.  There are times that I am so tire of taking meds. There are times I feel alone in my journey with this disease (even though I know I am not).  There are times I just want to told that it will be okay.  There are times I want to hear they found a cure for Myeloma.  There are times I want to say, I may sound good or look good but look in my heart and feel my mental pain.  There are times!!!  There are times!!!  Then I feel asleep.

Tomorrow is my biopsy.  We were told first to be there at 9.  Then next person that I talked to said 8 and the last person said 7:30.  That means we have to leave here at 6:30.  Really!!!!  I told the last person I talked to that the last time I came in early like that, I sat for almost an hour in the waiting room to go back to prepare for my surgery  (this biopsy is scheduled for 10).  Takes longer to prepare if you have a port, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.  So we will see how long I have to wait tomorrow.

They didn't see anything on my head from the Pet Scan.  This scan was done because of my concern of a new lump on my head.  They found what they think is Myeloma in the soft tissue near my thoracic spine.  Hence, the biopsy tomorrow.  I am still concerned about this lump on my head as it continues to grow.   Emailed Dr. Sarriera regarding this.  He wants to do an MRI of just my head even though the Pet Scan shows more details.  This is scheduled for May 17th.  Our calendar is getting full for May with appointments.  (:

When I emailed Dr. Sarriera (really Desiree gets it and discusses it with him), I told them I was sorry to be a burden on them .  Here is Desiree's response:

"You are not a burden.  Working in oncology is a choice.  We do this because we love it and we want to help.  You didn't choose cancer, but we choose to help you and others dealt that hand.  Don't ever feel like you are a bother to us."

Just the encouraging words I needed after my day yesterday.  And I surely let her know!  She really cares about her patients.

Bill's appointment for his exam of his head was cancelled.  Rescheduled for May 10th.  We were a little disappointed because wanted to see how it looked to the doctor.  We think it looks great for not having it stitched.  I am a good nurse.

I had two prescriptions to pick up at the pharmacy at the Cancer Center.  When I went in, Marie waited on me.  She knows me by name from all the times I have picked up scripts.  She doesn't work the front as much any more so haven't seen her for quite a while.  First thing she said to me was - "Look at your hair.  It looks so nice.  I am so used to seeing you with your hats on.  Wow!"

Quote:

It is so easy to forget how precious it is to be alive.