Solemnly swear.
The grand FINALE. Day 10. Last day of radiation treatments. 27 seconds today. Yep, I counted again. Now let's pray that these 10 treatments, no matter how many zaps or how many seconds, has killed all the cancer cells in the lumps on my skull. The radiation as I have said before will continue to work for several weeks. We will not have to travel to the Cancer Center now until August 3rd for my appointment with Dr. Sarriera. We will discuss my plans for the future. Future. A word I have thought about a lot the last year. And when my cancer came back so quickly, thought about it more each day. Future. I pray for a long future!
When Gabi came to get me for my treatment today, I asked for a picture with her and Josh. I had my fight shirt on (thanks Sandy), my burgundy hat on and Gabi and Josh were my fight team. I will try to see if I can put that picture on my blog. Once my treatment was over, Gabi and Josh came in with clappers, a certificate and hugs. We then walked down the hallway from the treatment room, clappers clapping, to a bell which I got to ring to signify I completed my treatments. Bill and I had to laugh later because the waiting rooms (there are 2) are usually full of people. Well today there was only one person in the one waiting room. She clapped for me. After I rang the bell, hugs were given again, there were a few tears and Bill and I were on our way out. And I was given my mask. Will try to get a picture of that on here too.
So Bill is taking the picture of Gabi, Josh and I. He said to them - Raise your right hand. Huh? Bill in his very authoritative voice said again - Raise your right hand. I am not kidding. Quickly Gabi and Josh raised their right hands. Bill then said - Repeat after me. I do solemnly swear that all the cancer is gone from Kathy's head. They did and I relaxed for the picture. Phew!!!! I love my husband and the great caregiver he is to me.
Quote:
And if it comes back, I'll keep fighting.
Friday, July 21, 2017
Thursday, July 20, 2017
A friends' journey.
Number 9 is over and done with. Oh, I counted 24 seconds. Tomorrow number 10 and we will be finished with the radiation treatments. This is going to kick this cancer out of me because I don't want it any more. I don't need it anymore. Dr. Nanda said the radiation continues to work for several weeks. So keep on keeping on!!!
Stopped today at Lake Eola on the way home from the Cancer Center. Been seeing the swan paddle boats on the lake. Not sure what we were thinking because it was very hot today and even though there was a canvas top over the swan, the sun found it's way in. We both sprayed sun screen on and glad we did. We didn't even paddle the amount of time we paid for. Was nice though.
I had a very special friend tell me she likes to read several of my blog posts at a time. She pretends it's a Lifetime Movie. A Friend's Journey. A journey she wishes I wasn't on. A Lifetime story of my journey, my battle I am fighting. Some spots in my posts make her cry. Make her wish she could reach through my blog and walk it with me. This special friend has walked the cancer life at one time also. She knows what a cancer battle is.
Quote:
A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be.
Number 9 is over and done with. Oh, I counted 24 seconds. Tomorrow number 10 and we will be finished with the radiation treatments. This is going to kick this cancer out of me because I don't want it any more. I don't need it anymore. Dr. Nanda said the radiation continues to work for several weeks. So keep on keeping on!!!
Stopped today at Lake Eola on the way home from the Cancer Center. Been seeing the swan paddle boats on the lake. Not sure what we were thinking because it was very hot today and even though there was a canvas top over the swan, the sun found it's way in. We both sprayed sun screen on and glad we did. We didn't even paddle the amount of time we paid for. Was nice though.
I had a very special friend tell me she likes to read several of my blog posts at a time. She pretends it's a Lifetime Movie. A Friend's Journey. A journey she wishes I wasn't on. A Lifetime story of my journey, my battle I am fighting. Some spots in my posts make her cry. Make her wish she could reach through my blog and walk it with me. This special friend has walked the cancer life at one time also. She knows what a cancer battle is.
Quote:
A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be.
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
So young.
Day 8. And yes I counted again. 24 seconds. Was getting a little anxious because Gabi wasn't there today. Had a meeting. So someone new to my case and it was taking a little longer to snap me in place and get the red lines angled on my head. I just kept saying my prayers and knew I could lift my head if they didn't get me done soon. Fortunately I didn't lift my head because that gets me in trouble. Bill said it was probably no more than 10 minutes total but to me, it seemed like 1/2 hour. Well, only 2 to go. Gabi is back tomorrow.
Tonight Bill, Gery and I went to a fund raiser, Yappy Hour, for Poodle and Pooch. Kristi is a part of this group. Lots of food, beer, wine, raffles and silent auctions. And lots of dogs. And one lived up to the part, very Yappy all night. LOL I was really Yappy too when I won the gift certificated to Jeremiah's. Michelle and I frequent that place quite often. Gelati or their ice cream. Yum! Doing this took me away from my thoughts of cancer. Doing this made me feel like my old self. Maybe it was the gambling part of it. ;) Whatever it was, thank you Poodle and Pooch.
Today as we were waiting on our car at the Cancer Center, I noticed another couple that was waiting on their car standing near by. She had a hat on covering her bald head. They walked by us to take a seat in the waiting area and I saw her closer. So young. Probably in her early 20's. So pretty. Bill and I were both in awe. The "why me" question popped in my head. I know how I feel at times about my cancer at the age of 67. I can't even imagine how she feels at such a young age. I wanted to give her a hug but didn't want to invade her space. Now as I write this, I wish I would have. Makes you stop and think how lucky you really are, cancer or not, when you leave a Cancer Center. I have seen lots of people with their cancers go in and out of this center but this one really touched me. If I ever see her again, I may just give her a hug. Not sure if she needed one from me but I needed it for me.
Quote:
One smile can start a friendship. One individual can change your life.
Day 8. And yes I counted again. 24 seconds. Was getting a little anxious because Gabi wasn't there today. Had a meeting. So someone new to my case and it was taking a little longer to snap me in place and get the red lines angled on my head. I just kept saying my prayers and knew I could lift my head if they didn't get me done soon. Fortunately I didn't lift my head because that gets me in trouble. Bill said it was probably no more than 10 minutes total but to me, it seemed like 1/2 hour. Well, only 2 to go. Gabi is back tomorrow.
Tonight Bill, Gery and I went to a fund raiser, Yappy Hour, for Poodle and Pooch. Kristi is a part of this group. Lots of food, beer, wine, raffles and silent auctions. And lots of dogs. And one lived up to the part, very Yappy all night. LOL I was really Yappy too when I won the gift certificated to Jeremiah's. Michelle and I frequent that place quite often. Gelati or their ice cream. Yum! Doing this took me away from my thoughts of cancer. Doing this made me feel like my old self. Maybe it was the gambling part of it. ;) Whatever it was, thank you Poodle and Pooch.
Today as we were waiting on our car at the Cancer Center, I noticed another couple that was waiting on their car standing near by. She had a hat on covering her bald head. They walked by us to take a seat in the waiting area and I saw her closer. So young. Probably in her early 20's. So pretty. Bill and I were both in awe. The "why me" question popped in my head. I know how I feel at times about my cancer at the age of 67. I can't even imagine how she feels at such a young age. I wanted to give her a hug but didn't want to invade her space. Now as I write this, I wish I would have. Makes you stop and think how lucky you really are, cancer or not, when you leave a Cancer Center. I have seen lots of people with their cancers go in and out of this center but this one really touched me. If I ever see her again, I may just give her a hug. Not sure if she needed one from me but I needed it for me.
Quote:
One smile can start a friendship. One individual can change your life.
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
Ann!
Well, number 7 is done. 36 seconds from the time the zap started till it ended. One long zap. Please do not tell Dr. Nanda that I counted again. Tomorrow will be number 8. Then just two more to go. Kicking cancer!!! Kicking right out of me!!! Kicking cancer.
I know, besides Dr. Nanda telling me not to count, he also told me not to be feeling my lumps. Well, I must. One thing I remembered today that he also told me was that the radiation treatment can make them swell some. That's why till night time they always seems bigger. In the morning, they are considerably smaller I think. Not listening to my doctor am I? No counting and no feeling. Sorry, Dr. Nanda but I am counting and feeling. LOL
Yesterday I got a card from an ole dear friend. A World Kitchen friend. A friend I so much missed when she retired. A friend I shared a lot with. A friend that was there for me. A friend. She was our nurse at World Kitchen when I started in 1993. Ann. My dear friend Ann. I forget what year she retired but I know I missed her. Last I saw her was at my first retirement dinner. She said she almost didn't come. So glad she did because we talked and talked. I told her of our plans. Our plans to sell our house and move to FL. Our dream for several years. She was so happy for me. Sandy ran in to her not so long ago. She asked right away if I got moved? Sandy filled her in on my move and my health condition. Her card, like a lot of others I have received, was very heartfelt, very caring, very loving. Ann!
Quote:
Friends don't let friends fight cancer alone.
Well, number 7 is done. 36 seconds from the time the zap started till it ended. One long zap. Please do not tell Dr. Nanda that I counted again. Tomorrow will be number 8. Then just two more to go. Kicking cancer!!! Kicking right out of me!!! Kicking cancer.
I know, besides Dr. Nanda telling me not to count, he also told me not to be feeling my lumps. Well, I must. One thing I remembered today that he also told me was that the radiation treatment can make them swell some. That's why till night time they always seems bigger. In the morning, they are considerably smaller I think. Not listening to my doctor am I? No counting and no feeling. Sorry, Dr. Nanda but I am counting and feeling. LOL
Yesterday I got a card from an ole dear friend. A World Kitchen friend. A friend I so much missed when she retired. A friend I shared a lot with. A friend that was there for me. A friend. She was our nurse at World Kitchen when I started in 1993. Ann. My dear friend Ann. I forget what year she retired but I know I missed her. Last I saw her was at my first retirement dinner. She said she almost didn't come. So glad she did because we talked and talked. I told her of our plans. Our plans to sell our house and move to FL. Our dream for several years. She was so happy for me. Sandy ran in to her not so long ago. She asked right away if I got moved? Sandy filled her in on my move and my health condition. Her card, like a lot of others I have received, was very heartfelt, very caring, very loving. Ann!
Quote:
Friends don't let friends fight cancer alone.
Monday, July 17, 2017
Hey, I know those people in that car.
Day 6. Yep, count with me, 4 more to go. Today had different zaps. Only had one long one. I didn't know that was going to happen so didn't count how many seconds that was. Confusing as to why this zap and then other times 11 or 12 zaps. Met a new tech today that was working with Gabi and Josh. Forget her name though. Said she would see me tomorrow so I will get her name again. Chemo/radiation brain. ;)
After my treatment, I met with Dr. Nanda. First his nurse, Karen, came in to see me. She is such a bubbly person. Seems like she never stops smiling. Asked me a few questions, told her my questions for Dr. Nanda and she left to get him. Dr. Nanda came in then and examined my head. He noticed the lumps have not gone down but wasn't that concerned. Not like I am. He explained that even though the lumps haven't shrunk, it doesn't mean the radiation isn't working to kill the cancer cells. As long as they aren't getting any larger, not to worry. It may take up to several months for them to shrink if at all. Again, he stressed as long as they aren't getting any larger, not to worry. He said it's like when you buy stock; you constantly watch it every day for changes. I am feeling those lumps every day, several times a day, looking for changes. Need to not do that. Hmm, easier said than done? Also, explained the radiation treatments do not stop working the day of my last treatment. It can continue up to several months afterwards. He remarked that he didn't see any hair loss in the treatment area and that was a good thing. I have noticed my hair is growing again. Yippee.
I asked him how he determined the dosage of radiation to use. This is done based on tests I have had, the simulation day and my cancer type. And I remembered later Dr. Nanda presented my case to a group of doctors to discuss the best treatment plan for me. I questioned the one long zap and the 11 or 12 zaps I have counted during the treatment. He told me not to do that as I am given the same amount of radiation each time. This is programed in to the computer which controls the treatment plan he has administered.
Dr. Nanda asked if I have notice any rash or itchiness in the area of treatment. No to that. Any other side effects? I told him about the light headiness I experienced on Saturday. First thing he asked - are you drinking enough water? Well, I think so. We even change to water that has a PH of 9.3 or better. More alkalinity. Good for cancer patients. Maybe just my body telling me to rest a day. He asked about any pain in the area of treatment. I do have a shooting pain occasionally. Nothing that lasts any amount of time. Not real painful. He didn't seem to be concerned about that. This I was told previously, I may or may not see other side effects later. Everyone is different in their reaction to radiation. Fatigue seems to be the biggest problem.
I was told then to make an appointment to see him in 3 to 4 months. If I have any concerns before that time, do not hesitate to call him. I will now be turned back over to Dr. Sarriera. He keeps getting me back. LOL!!!! I do have an appointment for labs and then to see him on August 3rd.
So all and all I had a good appointment with Dr. Nanda. Seems there is nothing to be concerned about right now. Finish my 4 treatments and then see what Dr. Sarriera has in mind for me. May be another Pet Scan. Oh joy, as Bill would say. I just know we want this cancer kicked out of me. Been dealing with it over a year now. We know there are always going to be Myeloma cells somewhere in my body but we want to be able to control them with whatever meds are needed. We don't want it to raise it's ugly head again in 6 months. Needs to just leave us alone for a long time.
We were on the way home from my appointment and I noticed a black Honda Pilot a few feet in front of us. Then I notice a blue Poodle and Pooch bumper sticker on the back. Hey, I know those people in that car. It was Kristi, Sasha and Ellie. I waved as we went by but Kristi didn't notice. So we slowed down and I stuck my hand out the window and waved. They finally noticed us. Sasha and Ellie put their windows down and were hollering it's Didi and Pap. Told them we would stop at their house. Last thing I heard was Sasha yelling - I love you Didi!!! So sweet and special. Made my day for sure. Once we got to their house, both girls jumped out of their car and came for kisses and hugs from Didi and Pap.
Quote:
Dear Cancer.
Thanks for making me stop and listen and remember what's truly important. You can go now.
Day 6. Yep, count with me, 4 more to go. Today had different zaps. Only had one long one. I didn't know that was going to happen so didn't count how many seconds that was. Confusing as to why this zap and then other times 11 or 12 zaps. Met a new tech today that was working with Gabi and Josh. Forget her name though. Said she would see me tomorrow so I will get her name again. Chemo/radiation brain. ;)
After my treatment, I met with Dr. Nanda. First his nurse, Karen, came in to see me. She is such a bubbly person. Seems like she never stops smiling. Asked me a few questions, told her my questions for Dr. Nanda and she left to get him. Dr. Nanda came in then and examined my head. He noticed the lumps have not gone down but wasn't that concerned. Not like I am. He explained that even though the lumps haven't shrunk, it doesn't mean the radiation isn't working to kill the cancer cells. As long as they aren't getting any larger, not to worry. It may take up to several months for them to shrink if at all. Again, he stressed as long as they aren't getting any larger, not to worry. He said it's like when you buy stock; you constantly watch it every day for changes. I am feeling those lumps every day, several times a day, looking for changes. Need to not do that. Hmm, easier said than done? Also, explained the radiation treatments do not stop working the day of my last treatment. It can continue up to several months afterwards. He remarked that he didn't see any hair loss in the treatment area and that was a good thing. I have noticed my hair is growing again. Yippee.
I asked him how he determined the dosage of radiation to use. This is done based on tests I have had, the simulation day and my cancer type. And I remembered later Dr. Nanda presented my case to a group of doctors to discuss the best treatment plan for me. I questioned the one long zap and the 11 or 12 zaps I have counted during the treatment. He told me not to do that as I am given the same amount of radiation each time. This is programed in to the computer which controls the treatment plan he has administered.
Dr. Nanda asked if I have notice any rash or itchiness in the area of treatment. No to that. Any other side effects? I told him about the light headiness I experienced on Saturday. First thing he asked - are you drinking enough water? Well, I think so. We even change to water that has a PH of 9.3 or better. More alkalinity. Good for cancer patients. Maybe just my body telling me to rest a day. He asked about any pain in the area of treatment. I do have a shooting pain occasionally. Nothing that lasts any amount of time. Not real painful. He didn't seem to be concerned about that. This I was told previously, I may or may not see other side effects later. Everyone is different in their reaction to radiation. Fatigue seems to be the biggest problem.
I was told then to make an appointment to see him in 3 to 4 months. If I have any concerns before that time, do not hesitate to call him. I will now be turned back over to Dr. Sarriera. He keeps getting me back. LOL!!!! I do have an appointment for labs and then to see him on August 3rd.
So all and all I had a good appointment with Dr. Nanda. Seems there is nothing to be concerned about right now. Finish my 4 treatments and then see what Dr. Sarriera has in mind for me. May be another Pet Scan. Oh joy, as Bill would say. I just know we want this cancer kicked out of me. Been dealing with it over a year now. We know there are always going to be Myeloma cells somewhere in my body but we want to be able to control them with whatever meds are needed. We don't want it to raise it's ugly head again in 6 months. Needs to just leave us alone for a long time.
We were on the way home from my appointment and I noticed a black Honda Pilot a few feet in front of us. Then I notice a blue Poodle and Pooch bumper sticker on the back. Hey, I know those people in that car. It was Kristi, Sasha and Ellie. I waved as we went by but Kristi didn't notice. So we slowed down and I stuck my hand out the window and waved. They finally noticed us. Sasha and Ellie put their windows down and were hollering it's Didi and Pap. Told them we would stop at their house. Last thing I heard was Sasha yelling - I love you Didi!!! So sweet and special. Made my day for sure. Once we got to their house, both girls jumped out of their car and came for kisses and hugs from Didi and Pap.
Quote:
Dear Cancer.
Thanks for making me stop and listen and remember what's truly important. You can go now.
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Glow in the dark!
Tomorrow I will start my second half of the radiation treatments. 5 more to go. Also, tomorrow I will meet with Dr. Nanda for a consultation to see if I have any questions regarding my treatment. And I do. I have a list in my notes on my phone. Small list but some things I have been wondering about.
Saturday wasn't a good day for me. I got up as usual but just didn't feel right. Sluggish. Had put a roast in the crock pot the day before for BBQ so I got that ready. Then I took a shower and started to get ready for Kristi to pick me up. Again, just didn't feel right. By then I was a bit light headed. Especially when I moved my head too fast. It wasn't vertigo as I have experienced that and this wasn't the same. Called Kristi and told her not to pick me up. Bill was on the porch so went out to tell him I wasn't going. Not good. Very light headed. We came in and I laid down on the bed. Of course, the tears came along with the angry feeling. Angry because I wanted to go with my daughter, mom and granddaughters to the craft show and then out to lunch. Angry because I have been feeling pretty good lately and now this. Angry because I have cancer. Just angry!
Calmed down a bit then my sister Cheri called. I cried to her for a bit. She just left me cry and didn't tell me it will be okay, that I was stronger than that, that things would be better; just left me cry. And I thank her for that.
Took a nice nap and felt a bit better then. We were to go to Kristi and Matt's for dinner and I felt we could. So around 5:30, we took my beef BBQ and headed over there for a while.
So not sure what was up with the light headed morning. Will talk to Dr. Nanda tomorrow. That is not a side effect of radiation but we all know that I am not the norm.
Bill told the girls that we do not need a night light because I glow in the dark now that I have had some radiation.
Quote:
Family, where life begins and love never ends.
Tomorrow I will start my second half of the radiation treatments. 5 more to go. Also, tomorrow I will meet with Dr. Nanda for a consultation to see if I have any questions regarding my treatment. And I do. I have a list in my notes on my phone. Small list but some things I have been wondering about.
Saturday wasn't a good day for me. I got up as usual but just didn't feel right. Sluggish. Had put a roast in the crock pot the day before for BBQ so I got that ready. Then I took a shower and started to get ready for Kristi to pick me up. Again, just didn't feel right. By then I was a bit light headed. Especially when I moved my head too fast. It wasn't vertigo as I have experienced that and this wasn't the same. Called Kristi and told her not to pick me up. Bill was on the porch so went out to tell him I wasn't going. Not good. Very light headed. We came in and I laid down on the bed. Of course, the tears came along with the angry feeling. Angry because I wanted to go with my daughter, mom and granddaughters to the craft show and then out to lunch. Angry because I have been feeling pretty good lately and now this. Angry because I have cancer. Just angry!
Calmed down a bit then my sister Cheri called. I cried to her for a bit. She just left me cry and didn't tell me it will be okay, that I was stronger than that, that things would be better; just left me cry. And I thank her for that.
Took a nice nap and felt a bit better then. We were to go to Kristi and Matt's for dinner and I felt we could. So around 5:30, we took my beef BBQ and headed over there for a while.
So not sure what was up with the light headed morning. Will talk to Dr. Nanda tomorrow. That is not a side effect of radiation but we all know that I am not the norm.
Bill told the girls that we do not need a night light because I glow in the dark now that I have had some radiation.
Quote:
Family, where life begins and love never ends.
Friday, July 14, 2017
Krispy Kreme Jam!
Finally day 5 done. "We're half way there. Oh, Oh Living on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it I swear. Oh, oh Living on a prayer." That song popped in to my head as I finished my 5th treatment of 10. Sung by Bin no I or Bob jobi or Bon Jovi according to a few text from Kerri.
I talked with the techs today regarding my 11 zaps today (I really thought I counted 12 yesterday). They showed me the template that was made for me that is put in the machine to direct the electrons to my areas of cancer. Very interesting. One of my questions on Monday when I see Dr. Nanda is how does he know how much radiation to give me?
Once again, Krispy Kreme had traffic tied up on 17/92. Cars in line to take advantage of their special today, buy one dozen at regular price and get one dozen for 80 cents. When I say cars in line, I mean this line was down one side of a major highway causing both that lane and the other lane to move at a crawl. This was for miles. I can not believe there wasn't any person directing traffic. Of course, why would I? The free donut day was the same way with the traffic and no one seemed to care. Well, I hope they made their quota for the day. I didn't need their sugar fix. I was hyped enough worrying I wasn't going to make my appointment time for my treatment. I finally called and Gabi said to come on in. They would take me even if I was late. Well, actually I had 4 minutes to spare.
Funny thing about all this was I got a text then a phone call from Joanie on the way home. We talked a bit and I started to complain to her about the traffic jam and the cause of it that we dealt with on the way to the Cancer Center. She started to laugh and said, "That's funny because the last time we talked there was a traffic jam also cause by Krispy Kreme!" I love phone calls from Joanie but I really don't like Krispy Kreme traffic jams. Hope they are not one in the same. Ha! Love you Joanie.
Quote:
Believe you can and you will.
Finally day 5 done. "We're half way there. Oh, Oh Living on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it I swear. Oh, oh Living on a prayer." That song popped in to my head as I finished my 5th treatment of 10. Sung by Bin no I or Bob jobi or Bon Jovi according to a few text from Kerri.
I talked with the techs today regarding my 11 zaps today (I really thought I counted 12 yesterday). They showed me the template that was made for me that is put in the machine to direct the electrons to my areas of cancer. Very interesting. One of my questions on Monday when I see Dr. Nanda is how does he know how much radiation to give me?
Once again, Krispy Kreme had traffic tied up on 17/92. Cars in line to take advantage of their special today, buy one dozen at regular price and get one dozen for 80 cents. When I say cars in line, I mean this line was down one side of a major highway causing both that lane and the other lane to move at a crawl. This was for miles. I can not believe there wasn't any person directing traffic. Of course, why would I? The free donut day was the same way with the traffic and no one seemed to care. Well, I hope they made their quota for the day. I didn't need their sugar fix. I was hyped enough worrying I wasn't going to make my appointment time for my treatment. I finally called and Gabi said to come on in. They would take me even if I was late. Well, actually I had 4 minutes to spare.
Funny thing about all this was I got a text then a phone call from Joanie on the way home. We talked a bit and I started to complain to her about the traffic jam and the cause of it that we dealt with on the way to the Cancer Center. She started to laugh and said, "That's funny because the last time we talked there was a traffic jam also cause by Krispy Kreme!" I love phone calls from Joanie but I really don't like Krispy Kreme traffic jams. Hope they are not one in the same. Ha! Love you Joanie.
Quote:
Believe you can and you will.
Thursday, July 13, 2017
Zip Car.
Day 4 of my radiation treatment went well. Once again, no Ativan. I am getting braver. Really just praying harder. So today I counted how many seconds the zaps were. 4 seconds. I counted how many zaps. 12 zaps. Was texting this info to Matt Noll (not during the treatment) and he explained it to me. This means they point the beam from 12 different positions to get a good dose distribution with the primary goal to kill the bad cells as much as possible while sparing the good cells. Makes sense to me. I can't wait to go tomorrow so I can tell the techs that info and sound intelligent. Ha! Thanks Matt. Check is in the mail for the text consultation. ;) So we have 6 to go. Glad we don't have to go on Saturday and Sunday. A little break there for my driver!
We actually parked and walked a bit after my treatment. Been wanting to walk, guess it's called, downtown Orlando for a while now. Walked to the Cigar Bar and then to Wahlburgers for lunch. Then had to head back to the car. Threat of rain you know.
We see a Honda CRV exactly like mine every time we drive to the Cancer Center. Same color, same year and it was always parked at the same place. There is a warehouse near so we just figured it belonged to someone that worked in the warehouse. Got to be a habit to look for it. Yep, there it was and exactly in the same spot. One day I noticed there was a sign on the side of the CRV. Couldn't read it because we went by it too fast. Next time we went by I was able to read the sign. It said
Zip Car. Then just figured it was some sales person that also worked in the warehouse. Then a day or so after that, I saw a sign on a pole that said something about parking for Zip Car only. Okay let's ask Siri. I am sure a lot of you know about Zip Cars and the rest that don't, ask Siri or Alexia or Cortana or Bixby or Goggle it or however you search for answers. Oh, by the way, it's still sitting there in the same spot.
Quote:
DREAM as though you have nothing to lose. BELIEVE as though anything is possible.
LOVE as though your heart knows no bounds. LIVE as though there is only today.
Day 4 of my radiation treatment went well. Once again, no Ativan. I am getting braver. Really just praying harder. So today I counted how many seconds the zaps were. 4 seconds. I counted how many zaps. 12 zaps. Was texting this info to Matt Noll (not during the treatment) and he explained it to me. This means they point the beam from 12 different positions to get a good dose distribution with the primary goal to kill the bad cells as much as possible while sparing the good cells. Makes sense to me. I can't wait to go tomorrow so I can tell the techs that info and sound intelligent. Ha! Thanks Matt. Check is in the mail for the text consultation. ;) So we have 6 to go. Glad we don't have to go on Saturday and Sunday. A little break there for my driver!
We actually parked and walked a bit after my treatment. Been wanting to walk, guess it's called, downtown Orlando for a while now. Walked to the Cigar Bar and then to Wahlburgers for lunch. Then had to head back to the car. Threat of rain you know.
We see a Honda CRV exactly like mine every time we drive to the Cancer Center. Same color, same year and it was always parked at the same place. There is a warehouse near so we just figured it belonged to someone that worked in the warehouse. Got to be a habit to look for it. Yep, there it was and exactly in the same spot. One day I noticed there was a sign on the side of the CRV. Couldn't read it because we went by it too fast. Next time we went by I was able to read the sign. It said
Zip Car. Then just figured it was some sales person that also worked in the warehouse. Then a day or so after that, I saw a sign on a pole that said something about parking for Zip Car only. Okay let's ask Siri. I am sure a lot of you know about Zip Cars and the rest that don't, ask Siri or Alexia or Cortana or Bixby or Goggle it or however you search for answers. Oh, by the way, it's still sitting there in the same spot.
Quote:
DREAM as though you have nothing to lose. BELIEVE as though anything is possible.
LOVE as though your heart knows no bounds. LIVE as though there is only today.
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Kabloom!
Today was day 3 of my radiation treatments. I did it without Ativan once again. I actually think I was in the room for a total of about 10 minutes. Hooked me in place, zapped me with radiation, unhooked me and done. Matt Noll was right. It only takes minutes. Not so bad. Still feeling pretty good. I did have to take a small nap today. That only happens every so often.
Working on getting my sewing room done. My therapy room. Bill has painted and hung my pegboard, my shelf and my picture. I hung my great grandfather's hat. Michelle found a ruler that is about 39 inches long and 6 inches wide at Home Goods when we where shopping on Sunday. Has several clips on it to hang things. Need to hang that yet. Working on some Prairie Points to put around the top of the pegboard. It's getting there. My therapy room. My sewing is my therapy. Hard to think about my cancer when my machine is humming away. Hard to think about my cancer while I am watching You Tube to learn how to make something. Hard to think about my cancer while looking around at my room full of fabric, cutting boards, baskets of fabric scraps, threads, buttons, cutters and several different unfinished projects. My therapy.
Yesterday FedEx left a box at my door that said Kabloom. I was talking to Kristi at the time. We figured it contained flowers. Kristi, being her funny self, said - "Mom, I don't care what the card says, the flowers are from me. Someone probably forged their name in place of mine." But they were not from Kristi. They were from my Kerri. A beautiful bouquet of daisies and a nice glass vase too. Here is what the card said "For my beautiful, strong Mom. Thank you for not giving up. I love you and miss you! xoxo". I love and miss my Kerri a lot. Bill, Kerri, Kristi, my son-in-laws. my beautiful 8 grandkids, my mom and I could go on and on are all reasons that I have not given up. Reasons I go through all I have to keep on keeping on! Hard at times, believe me, but I don't like the alternative.
Quote:
Life is tough my darling but so are you!!!
.
Today was day 3 of my radiation treatments. I did it without Ativan once again. I actually think I was in the room for a total of about 10 minutes. Hooked me in place, zapped me with radiation, unhooked me and done. Matt Noll was right. It only takes minutes. Not so bad. Still feeling pretty good. I did have to take a small nap today. That only happens every so often.
Working on getting my sewing room done. My therapy room. Bill has painted and hung my pegboard, my shelf and my picture. I hung my great grandfather's hat. Michelle found a ruler that is about 39 inches long and 6 inches wide at Home Goods when we where shopping on Sunday. Has several clips on it to hang things. Need to hang that yet. Working on some Prairie Points to put around the top of the pegboard. It's getting there. My therapy room. My sewing is my therapy. Hard to think about my cancer when my machine is humming away. Hard to think about my cancer while I am watching You Tube to learn how to make something. Hard to think about my cancer while looking around at my room full of fabric, cutting boards, baskets of fabric scraps, threads, buttons, cutters and several different unfinished projects. My therapy.
Yesterday FedEx left a box at my door that said Kabloom. I was talking to Kristi at the time. We figured it contained flowers. Kristi, being her funny self, said - "Mom, I don't care what the card says, the flowers are from me. Someone probably forged their name in place of mine." But they were not from Kristi. They were from my Kerri. A beautiful bouquet of daisies and a nice glass vase too. Here is what the card said "For my beautiful, strong Mom. Thank you for not giving up. I love you and miss you! xoxo". I love and miss my Kerri a lot. Bill, Kerri, Kristi, my son-in-laws. my beautiful 8 grandkids, my mom and I could go on and on are all reasons that I have not given up. Reasons I go through all I have to keep on keeping on! Hard at times, believe me, but I don't like the alternative.
Quote:
Life is tough my darling but so are you!!!
.
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Expressing me!
Well day 2 of my radiation treatment went well. And I didn't even take an Ativan. Was a little shaky about it but decided I should at least try. They were running a bit late but that was okay. What wasn't okay was the lady sitting directly behind Bill talking as loud as she could on her cell and the older guy waiting on his wife hollering in Bill's ear. We eventually were able to move away from them. When the tech came out to get me, of course, I had to go to the bathroom. Once I was done in there, I asked her where else I could go to hide. Ha! They once again allowed Bill to come in the room with me while they got me in to position. Snapping that ole mask down with Bill's hand on my back makes it easier to relax. They, Gabi and Josh, had me in position in no time, all left the room and zap, zap. It was all over within 5-10 minutes. Really quick. Not near as long as the first day. I did it. Yeah. Tomorrow Bill told me I could take Uber since it doesn't take so long. 😉
Tonight I was IMing with my sister-in-law Connie. She wrote this to me:
"I read your blog two days ago. It brought tears to my eyes. Don't know how you stay so strong. Thank God you are able to write about your journey."
This made me stop and think a bit. My blog has been a place where I can express myself no matter what kind of a mood I may be in. No matter if I am feeling down, feeling up, hating the world, feeling sorry for myself, in a crying mood, in a happy mood, wishing I wasn't me, hating myself, hating the way I look, hating the way I feel, not liking anyone, tired, cranky, loving everyone, just what ever I want to write about. This is my blog "expressing me"! Long posts with lots of details, short posts, my posts. Me posts. I love looking at the number of page views my blog gets each day. And the audience I get. I have readers occasionally from Russia, Poland, Bolivia, UK, Ukraine to name a few. But the best readers are you guys. No matter what I post, what I say or how I may say it, you guys are still sticking with me, reading my posts and understanding my moods as they change. Love you all.
Thanks Connie for saying what you did making me realize how important my blog is to me and many others.
Quote:
You are the hero of your own story.
Well day 2 of my radiation treatment went well. And I didn't even take an Ativan. Was a little shaky about it but decided I should at least try. They were running a bit late but that was okay. What wasn't okay was the lady sitting directly behind Bill talking as loud as she could on her cell and the older guy waiting on his wife hollering in Bill's ear. We eventually were able to move away from them. When the tech came out to get me, of course, I had to go to the bathroom. Once I was done in there, I asked her where else I could go to hide. Ha! They once again allowed Bill to come in the room with me while they got me in to position. Snapping that ole mask down with Bill's hand on my back makes it easier to relax. They, Gabi and Josh, had me in position in no time, all left the room and zap, zap. It was all over within 5-10 minutes. Really quick. Not near as long as the first day. I did it. Yeah. Tomorrow Bill told me I could take Uber since it doesn't take so long. 😉
Tonight I was IMing with my sister-in-law Connie. She wrote this to me:
"I read your blog two days ago. It brought tears to my eyes. Don't know how you stay so strong. Thank God you are able to write about your journey."
This made me stop and think a bit. My blog has been a place where I can express myself no matter what kind of a mood I may be in. No matter if I am feeling down, feeling up, hating the world, feeling sorry for myself, in a crying mood, in a happy mood, wishing I wasn't me, hating myself, hating the way I look, hating the way I feel, not liking anyone, tired, cranky, loving everyone, just what ever I want to write about. This is my blog "expressing me"! Long posts with lots of details, short posts, my posts. Me posts. I love looking at the number of page views my blog gets each day. And the audience I get. I have readers occasionally from Russia, Poland, Bolivia, UK, Ukraine to name a few. But the best readers are you guys. No matter what I post, what I say or how I may say it, you guys are still sticking with me, reading my posts and understanding my moods as they change. Love you all.
Thanks Connie for saying what you did making me realize how important my blog is to me and many others.
Quote:
You are the hero of your own story.
Monday, July 10, 2017
You got this.
Frist radiation treatment today. Got to the Cancer Center around 10:45 for my 11 AM appointment. Popped an Ativan. In about 10 minutes, a tech named Josh came out to the waiting room to get me. He showed me where I needed to scan my card, which I hadn't been given one yet, to check in. Watch the screen to make sure scan registered. Can also see if your machine (my machine-cool) is running on time. My machine happens to be 23IX. And yes, Matt Noll, is it made by Varian. Looked for the label on it today. Josh walked us back to the radiation area where my machine, 23IX, was waiting for me. I asked if Bill could go along in with me. Answer was yes until they started the radiation. Meet Josh's assistance Gabi and then on in the room we went. Gabi started to explain things and my tears started to flow. Just couldn't help it. I knew my head was going to be snap down once my mask was put on. So glad Bill was there to wrap his arms around me and give me words of encouragement, words of hope and just let me cry a bit. Which he had already gone through with me this morning before we left. Calmed myself down a bit. Gabi got me a warm blanket and Josh asked me what kind of music I liked. I said Beethoven and Bill said piano music. Well, I am here to tell you that what ever he choose wasn't either. Ready to get into position? Yes. So here is my position. Picture this. Lay flat down on my stomach on a table, fore head laying on a metal plate facing down towards the table, chin laying on a metal plate facing down towards the table, legs straight and feet laying over a pillow wedge. Warm blanket. Next comes the mask. This is not a mask over my face but it is a mask the covers the back of my head. Not a Silence of the Lamb type. It's a mesh netting they formed during my planning appointment. Now hardened. They placed that over my the back of my head and snapped it down. I just had to see to make myself feel better if I could raise my head. What, they are going to holler at me? So! Well, I could raise my head. Made me feel a lot better knowing that. And yes, they sort of hollered including Bill. But dang, I can do it and that sure did make it easier for me. Dr. Nanda came in and made sure they were set at the right area for the radiation. Drew a few more dots on my head, gave his approval and good wishes and left. They were ready now to unsnap the mask and put the bolus under the mask and on top of my head. This is so the radiation hits the area but does not penetrate the brain. Bolus in place, mask back on and snapped in place. Everyone leaves including Bill and the radiation starts. The machine goes around me and I am not moving in and out of a tunnel. This last about 15 minutes and I was done. Unsnap the mask, set up for a bit, give me my schedule, give me a card to scan and say goodbye till tomorrow. Josh asked me to schedule the time I would like to come in each day. He had 7:40 AM, 9:40 AM, 2:40 PM all available. Bill said there wasn't any way he was going to try to have me up and over to the Cancer Center by 7:40 AM and even the 9:40 wouldn't work. So we took the 2:40. When Gabi printed out my schedule it says 2:00, not 2:40. Will see tomorrow which one was right.
We left the radiation department and headed back to the area where I had to scan my card to alert
Dr. Nanda I was done and was ready to see him. When you are doing radiation, you have to visit with your assigned oncology radiology doctor on their assigned days. Dr. Nanda's day is Monday. We waited about 10 minutes and they called us back. After blood pressure, weight and temperature taken by his assistant, his nurse came in to the room. Asked a few questions and left to get "The Boss" as she called him. Dr. Nanda came in to the room then and answered a few questions Bill and I had. I asked him why ten treatments? His explanation was instead of giving me one large zap of radiation, they break it out in to 10 appointments. This give the body 24 hours to head but since the cancer takes longer to heal, we want to get more radiation zapped in to the specific area. Hoping to start shrinking the tumors I have on my head. Again, 24 hours after that zap for the body to heal and hoping the tumor is shrinking more. Hope I didn't make this part too confusing.
We discussed Dr. Sarriera's plan of the new maintenance drug I will be taking once all this is over. I will get the name of that drug soon. Just haven't put it in my mind yet. Bill explained to Dr. Nanda that we want this stuff out of me, gone, done. He really wants to see me smile a real smile. Dr. Nanda laughed and said that I was smiling the day of the planning when I asked him if I did my homework okay? (The shaving of my head). We also talk about me taking my Ativan. I told him I many not take one tomorrow. If the treatment is only going to take 10 to 15 minutes, I may be able to handle it. Dr. Nanda's opinion is one of, "if you need them, take them)"
Bill finally called me around 4:30. Did I ant to sleep of get ready to go to my monthly Myeloma
support group meeting? Don't like to miss them so I was able to get up and get ready. Pouring buckets when we left but 10 minutes out side of Casselberry, nothing. Florida rainstorms. Meeting was good. Had our normal pasta plain and some sauce if you preferred, chicken breasts with spinach in a white sauce, eggplant parmesan, lasagna, salad and cannolis. A rep from Velcade was our speaker tonight. She was talking about a new drug coming into play for Multiple Myeloma.
When we went around the room telling about our Myeloma fight, once again Ben (the young guy who told me last meeting that I am his inspiration for hi) looked at me and said "You got this and you got this too Bill".
Quote:
You may see me struggle but you will never see me quit.
Frist radiation treatment today. Got to the Cancer Center around 10:45 for my 11 AM appointment. Popped an Ativan. In about 10 minutes, a tech named Josh came out to the waiting room to get me. He showed me where I needed to scan my card, which I hadn't been given one yet, to check in. Watch the screen to make sure scan registered. Can also see if your machine (my machine-cool) is running on time. My machine happens to be 23IX. And yes, Matt Noll, is it made by Varian. Looked for the label on it today. Josh walked us back to the radiation area where my machine, 23IX, was waiting for me. I asked if Bill could go along in with me. Answer was yes until they started the radiation. Meet Josh's assistance Gabi and then on in the room we went. Gabi started to explain things and my tears started to flow. Just couldn't help it. I knew my head was going to be snap down once my mask was put on. So glad Bill was there to wrap his arms around me and give me words of encouragement, words of hope and just let me cry a bit. Which he had already gone through with me this morning before we left. Calmed myself down a bit. Gabi got me a warm blanket and Josh asked me what kind of music I liked. I said Beethoven and Bill said piano music. Well, I am here to tell you that what ever he choose wasn't either. Ready to get into position? Yes. So here is my position. Picture this. Lay flat down on my stomach on a table, fore head laying on a metal plate facing down towards the table, chin laying on a metal plate facing down towards the table, legs straight and feet laying over a pillow wedge. Warm blanket. Next comes the mask. This is not a mask over my face but it is a mask the covers the back of my head. Not a Silence of the Lamb type. It's a mesh netting they formed during my planning appointment. Now hardened. They placed that over my the back of my head and snapped it down. I just had to see to make myself feel better if I could raise my head. What, they are going to holler at me? So! Well, I could raise my head. Made me feel a lot better knowing that. And yes, they sort of hollered including Bill. But dang, I can do it and that sure did make it easier for me. Dr. Nanda came in and made sure they were set at the right area for the radiation. Drew a few more dots on my head, gave his approval and good wishes and left. They were ready now to unsnap the mask and put the bolus under the mask and on top of my head. This is so the radiation hits the area but does not penetrate the brain. Bolus in place, mask back on and snapped in place. Everyone leaves including Bill and the radiation starts. The machine goes around me and I am not moving in and out of a tunnel. This last about 15 minutes and I was done. Unsnap the mask, set up for a bit, give me my schedule, give me a card to scan and say goodbye till tomorrow. Josh asked me to schedule the time I would like to come in each day. He had 7:40 AM, 9:40 AM, 2:40 PM all available. Bill said there wasn't any way he was going to try to have me up and over to the Cancer Center by 7:40 AM and even the 9:40 wouldn't work. So we took the 2:40. When Gabi printed out my schedule it says 2:00, not 2:40. Will see tomorrow which one was right.
We left the radiation department and headed back to the area where I had to scan my card to alert
Dr. Nanda I was done and was ready to see him. When you are doing radiation, you have to visit with your assigned oncology radiology doctor on their assigned days. Dr. Nanda's day is Monday. We waited about 10 minutes and they called us back. After blood pressure, weight and temperature taken by his assistant, his nurse came in to the room. Asked a few questions and left to get "The Boss" as she called him. Dr. Nanda came in to the room then and answered a few questions Bill and I had. I asked him why ten treatments? His explanation was instead of giving me one large zap of radiation, they break it out in to 10 appointments. This give the body 24 hours to head but since the cancer takes longer to heal, we want to get more radiation zapped in to the specific area. Hoping to start shrinking the tumors I have on my head. Again, 24 hours after that zap for the body to heal and hoping the tumor is shrinking more. Hope I didn't make this part too confusing.
We discussed Dr. Sarriera's plan of the new maintenance drug I will be taking once all this is over. I will get the name of that drug soon. Just haven't put it in my mind yet. Bill explained to Dr. Nanda that we want this stuff out of me, gone, done. He really wants to see me smile a real smile. Dr. Nanda laughed and said that I was smiling the day of the planning when I asked him if I did my homework okay? (The shaving of my head). We also talk about me taking my Ativan. I told him I many not take one tomorrow. If the treatment is only going to take 10 to 15 minutes, I may be able to handle it. Dr. Nanda's opinion is one of, "if you need them, take them)"
Bill finally called me around 4:30. Did I ant to sleep of get ready to go to my monthly Myeloma
support group meeting? Don't like to miss them so I was able to get up and get ready. Pouring buckets when we left but 10 minutes out side of Casselberry, nothing. Florida rainstorms. Meeting was good. Had our normal pasta plain and some sauce if you preferred, chicken breasts with spinach in a white sauce, eggplant parmesan, lasagna, salad and cannolis. A rep from Velcade was our speaker tonight. She was talking about a new drug coming into play for Multiple Myeloma.
When we went around the room telling about our Myeloma fight, once again Ben (the young guy who told me last meeting that I am his inspiration for hi) looked at me and said "You got this and you got this too Bill".
Quote:
You may see me struggle but you will never see me quit.
Sunday, July 9, 2017
A toast.
One year ago yesterday I was officially diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. One year ago, our lives came to a halt. WHAT, WHY, HOW, WHEN, WHERE? All running through my mind, Bill's mind, Kristi's mind, Matt's mind, Kerri's mind, Paul's mind. Trying to comprehend what is being said by my NEW doctor. An oncologist. What an oncologist??? Why?? This is not happening. How can I cry any more tears? When did this start?? Where all is the cancer? How is this going to be treated? Chemo med, steroids, shots of chemo. Then a what? A bone marrow transplant? 30 days away from home in a hospital. A lot of information to be stored in my brain. A lot of information about a treatable but not curable cancer. A lot of information.
That was one year ago. I have done the chemo meds, the steroids, the chemo shots. I have been told the cancer was only located in my head. I have been seeing Dr. Sarriera for a year now, my oncologist. I have cried a lot. Tears that flow unexpectedly some times. I have been 8 months out of my bone marrow transplant. I have learned a lot about Multiple Myeloma. I have been brave. I have been positive. I have been strong. I have been praying.
Yet one year later I am once again facing cancer. Once again hearing those ugly words. Once again told it's treatable but not curable. Once again facing a treatment plan. Once again crying. Once again smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. Once again scared.
Tomorrow, Monday the 10th of July, I start my new treatment plan. This time it's radiation. 10 days of radiation. Once again scared.
Bill poured him and I a glass of wine. Then a toast. His toast was to kick this cancer in the ass, get it the heck out of me and once again move on.
Quote:
If you are not okay, that's okay. It happens sometimes. But you have to tell yourself that things will be better tomorrow. Even if they are not better tomorrow, keep telling yourself they will be. Because eventually, tomorrow will be better.
One year ago yesterday I was officially diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. One year ago, our lives came to a halt. WHAT, WHY, HOW, WHEN, WHERE? All running through my mind, Bill's mind, Kristi's mind, Matt's mind, Kerri's mind, Paul's mind. Trying to comprehend what is being said by my NEW doctor. An oncologist. What an oncologist??? Why?? This is not happening. How can I cry any more tears? When did this start?? Where all is the cancer? How is this going to be treated? Chemo med, steroids, shots of chemo. Then a what? A bone marrow transplant? 30 days away from home in a hospital. A lot of information to be stored in my brain. A lot of information about a treatable but not curable cancer. A lot of information.
That was one year ago. I have done the chemo meds, the steroids, the chemo shots. I have been told the cancer was only located in my head. I have been seeing Dr. Sarriera for a year now, my oncologist. I have cried a lot. Tears that flow unexpectedly some times. I have been 8 months out of my bone marrow transplant. I have learned a lot about Multiple Myeloma. I have been brave. I have been positive. I have been strong. I have been praying.
Yet one year later I am once again facing cancer. Once again hearing those ugly words. Once again told it's treatable but not curable. Once again facing a treatment plan. Once again crying. Once again smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. Once again scared.
Tomorrow, Monday the 10th of July, I start my new treatment plan. This time it's radiation. 10 days of radiation. Once again scared.
Bill poured him and I a glass of wine. Then a toast. His toast was to kick this cancer in the ass, get it the heck out of me and once again move on.
Quote:
If you are not okay, that's okay. It happens sometimes. But you have to tell yourself that things will be better tomorrow. Even if they are not better tomorrow, keep telling yourself they will be. Because eventually, tomorrow will be better.
Thursday, July 6, 2017
Update
My radiation will start on Monday, July 10th instead of Wednesday, July 12th. Got a call from Angel saying that Dr. Nanda wants me to start on Monday. So we will start. This unknown of what goes on is driving me crazy so Monday will tell!!
Quote:
Let cancer be the shadow that disappears when life turns a new day.
My radiation will start on Monday, July 10th instead of Wednesday, July 12th. Got a call from Angel saying that Dr. Nanda wants me to start on Monday. So we will start. This unknown of what goes on is driving me crazy so Monday will tell!!
Quote:
Let cancer be the shadow that disappears when life turns a new day.
Monday, July 3, 2017
Ever wonder?
Left around 11;45 for my 12:45 appointment. Today was the "planning" for the radiation treatments. Very worrisome for me. The not knowing exactly what was happening is very scary. Got to the Cancer Center and stopped first for my meds. Both were ready but Bill noticed the one looked bigger than what I have been taking. He read the bottle and saw that it was the 800 mg of the Acyclovir. I take 400 mg. So pharmacy tech had to email Dr. Sarriera's office and get the right prescription. Will come back later.
Went to the oncology department and checked in. Fumbled around a bit and finally took the an
ativan In a few minutes, someone came out and got me. Can Bill go along? No problem, there is another waiting room where we are going. Got to the waiting room and that's where Bill had to wait. Not allowed to come back with me. Okay, I asked the Lord to walk with me through this hall and stay with me through this ordeal. He did. There were two techs that would be taking care of me today. They showed me the form of the mask need to cover my face. Needed to be heated and then formed around my face. One of the techs asked me the area the radiation will be aiming for. When I showed her, she asked if I would be able to lay on my stomach. Sure. Got things all set up. Me on my stomach. Another warm blanket added. Then Dr. Nanda came in. I asked him how I did on his homework assignment? Just laughed and started marking my head. I also asked him if he could draw a butterfly on my head. Didn't think so and it would cost extra. As he was dotting my head, he once again said remember the hair may not grow back in in this area. Something we just have to wait and find out. Dr. Nanda mentioned that he wanted me to start my treatments next Wednesday. After he was finished dotting my head, the two techs finished the drawing and formed the bolus, a piece of artful skin. Once that was done, they taped my head to the table with the bolus. Okay, now what. They then placed the heated mask over the back of my head. I asked if that is where the mask would be. Yes, easier for the radiation to get to the area needed. They snapped the mask in place to the table. I am doing okay, It will be okay. I can do this. Then I was sent in to the CT machine for pictures. That took about 10 minutes. The techs then took the bolus off my head. Mask back on and more pictures. Finally done after another 10 minutes. Techs took off the mask and I was able to get up. I did it, I did it. I asked the tech if the machine that actually does the radiation looked any thing like the CT scanner. She said no but we could see the exact one I would be using. I23. Got Bill and we went down to see it. Big machine. I23! She explained that I will be laying still and the machine will go around me. Didn't look too bad.
The tech then gave me an appointment card for July 12th at 1 PM for my first radiation treatment. So that's next Wednesday. Will go again on Thursday and Friday. Nothing Saturday or Sunday. Start again on Monday the 17th through Friday the 21st. Then Monday the 24th and Tuesday the 25th. That will be my 10 days. Ten days of radiation zapping my cancer in my head. 10 days of driving to the Cancer Center. 10 days that is supposed to kill the cancer in my head. 10 days!!
Did you ever wonder when you are sitting in front of someone that is registering you, asking you a few questions, if that person is really typing info in to your portal or if he/she is also answering an email from a friend at the same time? Just wondering.
Quote:
One day at a time, one step at a time. Do what you can, do your best. Then let God handle the rest.
Left around 11;45 for my 12:45 appointment. Today was the "planning" for the radiation treatments. Very worrisome for me. The not knowing exactly what was happening is very scary. Got to the Cancer Center and stopped first for my meds. Both were ready but Bill noticed the one looked bigger than what I have been taking. He read the bottle and saw that it was the 800 mg of the Acyclovir. I take 400 mg. So pharmacy tech had to email Dr. Sarriera's office and get the right prescription. Will come back later.
Went to the oncology department and checked in. Fumbled around a bit and finally took the an
ativan In a few minutes, someone came out and got me. Can Bill go along? No problem, there is another waiting room where we are going. Got to the waiting room and that's where Bill had to wait. Not allowed to come back with me. Okay, I asked the Lord to walk with me through this hall and stay with me through this ordeal. He did. There were two techs that would be taking care of me today. They showed me the form of the mask need to cover my face. Needed to be heated and then formed around my face. One of the techs asked me the area the radiation will be aiming for. When I showed her, she asked if I would be able to lay on my stomach. Sure. Got things all set up. Me on my stomach. Another warm blanket added. Then Dr. Nanda came in. I asked him how I did on his homework assignment? Just laughed and started marking my head. I also asked him if he could draw a butterfly on my head. Didn't think so and it would cost extra. As he was dotting my head, he once again said remember the hair may not grow back in in this area. Something we just have to wait and find out. Dr. Nanda mentioned that he wanted me to start my treatments next Wednesday. After he was finished dotting my head, the two techs finished the drawing and formed the bolus, a piece of artful skin. Once that was done, they taped my head to the table with the bolus. Okay, now what. They then placed the heated mask over the back of my head. I asked if that is where the mask would be. Yes, easier for the radiation to get to the area needed. They snapped the mask in place to the table. I am doing okay, It will be okay. I can do this. Then I was sent in to the CT machine for pictures. That took about 10 minutes. The techs then took the bolus off my head. Mask back on and more pictures. Finally done after another 10 minutes. Techs took off the mask and I was able to get up. I did it, I did it. I asked the tech if the machine that actually does the radiation looked any thing like the CT scanner. She said no but we could see the exact one I would be using. I23. Got Bill and we went down to see it. Big machine. I23! She explained that I will be laying still and the machine will go around me. Didn't look too bad.
The tech then gave me an appointment card for July 12th at 1 PM for my first radiation treatment. So that's next Wednesday. Will go again on Thursday and Friday. Nothing Saturday or Sunday. Start again on Monday the 17th through Friday the 21st. Then Monday the 24th and Tuesday the 25th. That will be my 10 days. Ten days of radiation zapping my cancer in my head. 10 days of driving to the Cancer Center. 10 days that is supposed to kill the cancer in my head. 10 days!!
Did you ever wonder when you are sitting in front of someone that is registering you, asking you a few questions, if that person is really typing info in to your portal or if he/she is also answering an email from a friend at the same time? Just wondering.
Quote:
One day at a time, one step at a time. Do what you can, do your best. Then let God handle the rest.
Sunday, July 2, 2017
Never get tired of!
Today I, once again, had my head shaved. Did okay with it until I got up to put my turban on and looked in the mirror. Tears flowed then. My hair was really getting long. About 2 inches I would say. I know there was a lot of hair on my cape. I didn't look on the floor because I didn't want to see it. Then the mirror happened. Was brave up till then. Bravery went out the window. But I don't have to be brave all the time. I am entitled to a little "not so brave" for a bit. This was one of those times. Bill was right there with me through it again leaving me be "not so brave" and upset. I know I am saving on shampoo. I know I don't have to worry about washing and drying my hair every day. I know I look like my Uncle Paul again. I know it will grow back in. I know I had to do this for the radiation treatments. But, dang, it hurts. Okay, everyone out there, I have had my little pity party for myself and my "no hair"! But I think I deserve it. And thanks for letting me express my feelings.
Tomorrow is my simulation tests, the making of my mask (I am not sure who I want it to look like), the Cat Scan of my head, the marking of my head for the radiation area (going to request XOXO), the nice feeling of my Ativan meds, the ride home and the get into bed that I won't remember. Ha! Will find out tomorrow when the actual radiation treatments start. Tentatively, July 10th.
Right now I am listening to the rumble of Florida thunder. I will say this over and over but I have never heard thunder like the Florida thunder. It sounds like it's going to rip our roof off. Flashlights and candles are always near by.
I had forgotten how cold my head gets without hair. But I have my collection of hats for that. I have a nice soft flannel one on now (thank you very much Sandy Domer). This is one of the 3 favorite ones that I wore before to keep my head warm. Is there such a thing as hot flashes of the head? I do think there is because I am having them today. Hat on, hat off, hat on, hat off.
My day ended with a ride to Jeremiah's for Gelati's with Michelle. My choice right now is the
Scoop Froggy Frog. A mix of mint chocolate chip Italian ice with vanilla ice cream. Michelle said Jeremiah's is good for the soul. I would say I agree.
Will soon be living in Florida for 2 years. July 9th. Do not regret this move one bit. Yes, I do miss my family and friends but I love being close to Kristi, Matt, Sasha, Ellie, Mom. May not see them for days but there if I want to see them. (Wish my Kerri and family lived near too). I will never get tired of the palm trees, the fluffy white clouds in the brilliant blue sky, hearing and seeing the planes flying above, the gorgeous crepe myrtles (need to get me one), the beautiful native plants and the Florida thunder.
Quote:
Communicate. Even when it's uncomfortable or uneasy. One of the best ways to heal is to simply get everything out.
Today I, once again, had my head shaved. Did okay with it until I got up to put my turban on and looked in the mirror. Tears flowed then. My hair was really getting long. About 2 inches I would say. I know there was a lot of hair on my cape. I didn't look on the floor because I didn't want to see it. Then the mirror happened. Was brave up till then. Bravery went out the window. But I don't have to be brave all the time. I am entitled to a little "not so brave" for a bit. This was one of those times. Bill was right there with me through it again leaving me be "not so brave" and upset. I know I am saving on shampoo. I know I don't have to worry about washing and drying my hair every day. I know I look like my Uncle Paul again. I know it will grow back in. I know I had to do this for the radiation treatments. But, dang, it hurts. Okay, everyone out there, I have had my little pity party for myself and my "no hair"! But I think I deserve it. And thanks for letting me express my feelings.
Tomorrow is my simulation tests, the making of my mask (I am not sure who I want it to look like), the Cat Scan of my head, the marking of my head for the radiation area (going to request XOXO), the nice feeling of my Ativan meds, the ride home and the get into bed that I won't remember. Ha! Will find out tomorrow when the actual radiation treatments start. Tentatively, July 10th.
Right now I am listening to the rumble of Florida thunder. I will say this over and over but I have never heard thunder like the Florida thunder. It sounds like it's going to rip our roof off. Flashlights and candles are always near by.
I had forgotten how cold my head gets without hair. But I have my collection of hats for that. I have a nice soft flannel one on now (thank you very much Sandy Domer). This is one of the 3 favorite ones that I wore before to keep my head warm. Is there such a thing as hot flashes of the head? I do think there is because I am having them today. Hat on, hat off, hat on, hat off.
My day ended with a ride to Jeremiah's for Gelati's with Michelle. My choice right now is the
Scoop Froggy Frog. A mix of mint chocolate chip Italian ice with vanilla ice cream. Michelle said Jeremiah's is good for the soul. I would say I agree.
Will soon be living in Florida for 2 years. July 9th. Do not regret this move one bit. Yes, I do miss my family and friends but I love being close to Kristi, Matt, Sasha, Ellie, Mom. May not see them for days but there if I want to see them. (Wish my Kerri and family lived near too). I will never get tired of the palm trees, the fluffy white clouds in the brilliant blue sky, hearing and seeing the planes flying above, the gorgeous crepe myrtles (need to get me one), the beautiful native plants and the Florida thunder.
Quote:
Communicate. Even when it's uncomfortable or uneasy. One of the best ways to heal is to simply get everything out.
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